Valentine's Day Victories!

How a day of romance & love can propel your relationship forward...

Balloons, Hallmark Cards, chocolate candies, exquisite meals and other items will be on the list for many couples on Valentine's Day. But, doing this every day would be expensive...even every once in a while can be challenging to your wallet.

However, there are plenty of ways to grow your romance without spending your paycheck on items (even though investing in your relationship is always worthwhile). If it's all about the love, anyway...just find some time-tested, but unique ways to express your love. For anyone that has discovered the value of unconditional love...it is not a burden to express appreciation, gratitude and generosity to the one in whom you have devoted your romantic life.

Here are some foundational steps to take in order to create a framework of relationship success:

First, begin with the simple reminder that your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife is wonderfully created in the image of God. See him or her as the unique creature he/she is. Take pleasure in the fact that God has placed this particular person in your life. Subsequently, you are more fully equipped to see the purpose he/she has in being in your life. You see, pleasure and purpose go together! God has purposefully made him/her with gifts, talents, likes, dislikes, personality, strength, beauty and so much more. Then, take great pleasure in who he/she is. Value the marvelous creation he/she is!

This will help especially when things go wrong...and things will go wrong in any relationship! Knowing that the one you love is specially created - a one of kind - will encourage you when you don't see eye to eye. Your wife may see an issue differently than you do. That may be helpful, not harmful. Your husband may approach conflict differently than you do. Again, this can prove to be helpful. Find the blessings instead of the burdens. Appreciate the beauty of the overall relationship instead of focusing on the bad day one or both of you are having. Knowing your identity and appreciating his/her identity as a human being divinely created in the image of God is a necessity to having a purposeful and passionate relationship.

Second, submit and surrender. Yes, sir; Yes, ma'am...submit and surrender! You are not the center of the universe. Neither is he/she. In fact, there is Someone who created this marvelous universe. The Lord God, Himself, is our Creator. As Creator, He has provided His creation with a plan and purpose. In order to fully understand that plan and purpose we must submit to Him and then surrender to His ways.

This is what I mean: Any man or woman, to be truly successful in a relationship - a relationship designed to honor God, must submit to God's authority and surrender to His will. Otherwise, we all, as sinful human beings, live for ourselves...even in our most intimate of relationships. But, when we recognize His sovereignty, we appreciate His beauty, creation and purpose for us. Subsequently, we are grateful, content with our circumstances, certain and confident in ourselves, joyful, and more. This type of attitude will help build strong and meaningful relationships...especially, with those to whom we share our most intimate moments. Additionally, this relieves us of the pressure of trying to be someone we are not. On the contrary, it frees us to move on to the next step...

Third, relax and rejoice. The world in which we live has enough issues. Don't add to it by taking yourself too seriously. Yes, take your love and devotion to God seriously. Yes, take the quality of your work, attitude and actions seriously. However, don't get too wrapped up in yourself. Do not take things personally. Do not be selfish and self-centered. A man ought not to think too highly of himself...in doing so, too many men and women have ruined themselves and their relationships.

So, find pleasure in enjoying the simple things. Find peace in being content. The Apostle Paul said he "learned to be content." So can you. Expect high standards from yourself, but don't have too much in the area of expectations from your loved one. If you're not careful...you will become so focused on the shortcomings and mistakes of the other person that you forget all about your own shortfalls (and there may me many).

Therefore, relax and rejoice in the wonderful life you have together. On the contrary, you could be living life alone. Or, you could be with someone in a toxic/harmful relationship. So, choose to be glad. Smile more. Frown less. Be loving and bear his/her burdens (by the way...it's hard to carry other's burdens when you are always focused on your own). Find pleasure in the art of listening. Enjoy his/her quirks. Appreciate all the beauty they bring to the relationship.

Friend, when you take these foundational steps the more specific or practical items will follow suit. For example, because you see your loved one as a unique creation of God...you will treasure him; value their perspective; find joy in their presence in your life. Also, when you submit and surrender to God - you will choose not to be petty about the small stuff; you will be able to identify when he/she is stressed and needs some comfort or time away; you will love and respect consistently, but especially when they need it most by providing good listening, comforting advice, a delicious meal and laughter. Additionally, and lastly, by choosing to relax and rejoice - you'll discover what pleases them most: outdoor activities, playing games, traveling, dancing, giving gifts, a good cup of coffee, hugging and kissing, etc.

To build a good home - you need a good foundation. These suggestions will help you build a solid foundation. This foundation will enable you to move around more freely and securely within your relationship...with joy, hope, optimism and love. So, move your relationship forward by appreciating the fact that your loved one is created in God's image; submitting and surrendering to the Lord; relaxing and rejoicing in all the ways He has blessed you. I promise you...once these foundational steps have been followed - you'll know what to do from there!

Bruce